We have all been there: it just feels like the Universe is conspiring against you. Challenges pile up, disasters fall in rapid succession, and you want to throw up your hands and say, “what next?”. And you start to seriously wonder if the universe really is against you, or maybe you fall towards asking what you did to deserve this.
A Spiteful Universe
This past month, I certainly was in that mode: I had a serious health challenge – then just as I had fully recovered, I found myself with a very painful injury in my lower back.
In my work with clients, the question of ‘why’ something has happened will often come up; usually with the underlying suspicion it’s just because of random events, or that there is a karmic reason (aka, what did I do wrong).
In fairness, this is a reasonable response. I mean, how is it other than the randomness of a spiteful universe, or karmic retribution, that simply bending over to pull a weed means my back goes out the worst it has in over ten years? Without this response, we may go down the deep well of self-blame and doubt, or end up paralyzed with the worries of making wrong decisions.
Honestly, I did have a ‘what next’ and ‘really’ response; in other words, I blamed the spiteful universe. But being laid up for a week enforced time to reflect, and to remember what I have seen and learned over the last 25 years.
Finding Uncomfortable Answers
I have frequently written about choice in our lives (How To See Your Future) – how they can look, how they affect what we see and do, and how they can change what we find in our future. But under that is the reality that at times, we make ‘half-choices’; those places where we default on the next step, or we don’t understand we the small, seemingly innocent decision (or non-decision) we just made can have much larger future impacts.
While I was working full-time at the bank, even though I was on many calls each day, I stayed pretty active, because I would walk (well, pace) while on the calls, to help keep a focus and stay calm. When I left, my activities shifted dramatically to mostly sitting at my computer, plus my anxiety increased as I focused on building out my new focus of working with clients more.
My chiropractor, long before the injury, had suggested that I start doing some small exercises to help keep things stable. However, as we all know, habits kept me moving on the path I already had settled into (see Finding Your New Way).
Now, I did not actually say to myself, “Oh, I think I’ll sit more”. And for months, I didn’t even really notice that I was moving much less. However, these actions (aka choices that flowed from what I was doing) led to a much weaker back; and ultimately, it meant that simply bending over in way I had not all winter rewarded me with intense pain. So, my ‘half-choices’ put me directly on the path to where I landed.
The Gentle Universe
While it is very easy to place blame; and just as easy to take a long guilt trip, this is not to say all circumstances and situations are within our control, or that we can chose our way out of things like aging, the weather, or someone else’s behavior. However, we still can make choices about how we handle the events and circumstances (I could have easily listened to my chiropractor sooner).
While all that happened looked random, and felt karmic (I got what followed from my choices), truthfully, the Universe was trying very hard to help me. More than once, I remembered and noticed the shift to sitting; friends would ask me to get out and walk with them; and finally my chiropractor directly suggested some very simple, and small changes to help (remember Inches of Progress!).
I mentioned earlier that all this followed on a serious health challenge, and the combination is relevant as well. The series of events also served as a wake-up call to pay more attention to overall how I am doing things now; my diet, my moving more, as well as the simple exercises to keep things more flexible and stable.
Of course, my half-choices, habits, and focus meant I didn’t pay attention to the warnings and advice. The series of things reminded (and advised) me that age is not always just a number, and I can choose to do more to manage that.
The Universe of Support
What can you take away from my recent challenges and experiences (besides that I am still as stubborn as when I was a kid)? Perhaps you can notice the clear, gradual escalation in the messaging: moving from me, to friends, to trusted advisor. Or you can see that even a series of minor calamities and challenges can be pointing to something important, if you pause and look beyond the ‘what next’ or ‘why me’. Finally, seeing that while it may firmly feel like the Universe is out to get us, when we look closely, it hasn’t been keeping score. We just forget to pause long enough to see that really, the support was there all along, quietly, persistently trying to get our attention.
Love, and until next time.
