Have you booked a psychic reading, then wondered what to ask? Feeling like you aren’t sure how to get guidance without showing all the cards? Or maybe you just felt like no matter what you ask, the answers will be pretty and generic, but not really useful. If so, you are in good company. A lot of folks, intentionally or not, start a reading with one of a handful of questions or approaches. Sadly, a few of these can make the reading harder than it needs to be, for you and for me.
This isn’t about rules or rigid expectations for a reading. This is about helping you get the most value for your time and money; and helping you leave with something you can use tomorrow. So, let’s walk through the questions that tend to miss helping you, why that happens, and what works better instead.
“Just Tell Me What You See”
This is a pretty common way for people to start a session, and I understand why. It feels open, low-pressure, and like you’re letting the reading just “flow naturally.”
Here can be the challenge with this approach, and what actually happens on my end when someone says this. For some clients, it’s really clear and the ‘need’ for understanding is strong, so I get some great details right off. But for many clients, there is a pause; the energy is a bit guarded. Then, I start wondering what’s underneath the question. Usually, it is one of two things. Either you have something specific you really do want to know but you aren’t sure how to ask it, or you are not really trusting of the process (or me) and so you are testing me. You want to see if I land on the “right” thing before you say anything or share what is your deeper concern.
I get it. Being open about your questions and worries, especially if you are nervous or have been burned in other readings, is not easy. And while the “tell me what you see” approach isn’t always the best for you (we get into why below), I can work with you. I do it by starting with getting a general sense of what is going on with you and what is active in your life. Then I move through different areas — career, relationships, health, and so on — reviewing areas most folks will resonate with on some level. This absolutely can address concerns, but it can be a slower process, and there is a real risk we spend time circling around the thing that matters most to you while I’m still working through the terrain.
Here’s the part that might surprise you: even when I do get to “what’s most important”, what I see and what you’re hoping to hear about aren’t always the same thing. To me, the most important thread is usually about your spiritual growth or life path — the bigger pattern. For you, it might be romance, or your kids, or your health. I will normally get to most of those areas in a general reading, but if I’m going several directions on the map, the place that matters most to you may not get the attention or time it deserves to really help you.
What to Ask Instead
If you have a question or concern, be okay with sharing it as a starting point. It doesn’t need to be elaborate — even something like “I’m trying to figure out what’s next with my career” or “Things have felt off in my relationship and I want to understand why” gives us somewhere to begin. I promise that from there, the reading will open up naturally, and we’ll often end up covering more ground than if we’d started with a very large map and no destination.
“Does My Ex Still Think About Me?”
This one is hard. It says a relationship has blown up or fallen apart, and left you hurt and confused. Sadly, it is a situation a lot of folks experience and so wonder about. And I get why. When someone has left, or pulled away, or things have gone quiet, the not-knowing is its own kind of torment.
But here is the challenge with this question and its focus: you are asking me to tell you what is going on inside someone else’s head and heart. Someone who isn’t in the room, who hasn’t consented to this conversation, and who, for reasons they hold themselves, left the picture.
I can get impressions about another person’s energy or state of mind, so I will help you get a sense of the level of current ‘connection’. But keeping the focus about another person’s feelings centers everything on what they might do, instead of on what’s actually within your power — which is quite a lot, actually.
What to Ask Instead
Let me help you shift the focus back to you. Questions like “What do I need to understand about what happened with this relationship?” or “What can I do to heal my heart?” or “Where is my own path heading, regardless of what they do?” will allow you to address the concerns about what happened, but in ways that give you clarity, choice, and a path to real healing. You’ll walk away with something you can actually use, instead of a guess about someone else’s inner life.
Yes/No Questions
“Will I get the job?” “Should I move?” “Is he the one?”
These can feel a bit like asking the classic eight-ball a question, because they look for a simple answer. Because of this, I will nearly always reframe it before I answer. Not because I’m dodging the question, but because of two things I’ve learned over more than two decades of doing this work.
First, very little in life is actually binary. “Will I get the job?” sounds clear and simple, but underneath it is a dozen smaller threads — your fit for the role, the timing, what else might be in motion, what you genuinely want versus what you think you should want. A short yes or no flattens all of that into a coin flip.
Second — and this is the bigger one — a yes/no answer removes you from the equation. It treats the outcome like something that’s simply going to happen to you, rather than something you have a hand in shaping. An important part of what I bring to a reading is helping you see not just where things are headed, but where you have influence — the choices, the timing, the small pivots that can shift the outcome.
What to Ask Instead
Ask about the landscape, not the verdict. “What does this opportunity look like for me?” or “What should I be paying attention to with this decision?” gives us room to explore the full picture — including the parts you can actually do something about.
Why This Matters More Than It Might Seem
I want to be clear: none of this is about “doing it wrong” when coming to a reading, and it is not about me or my style. It’s about helping you get the most lift for yourself – with me, or with any reader. After doing thousands of readings over 25 years, I’ve noticed a consistent pattern — the sessions that land hardest, where the person leaves with something they can actually carry forward, are the ones where the questions point toward their own life, their choices, and their path.
That’s not an accident. It’s where psychic insight is actually most useful. I can offer you clarity on patterns, dynamics, and the road ahead. What I can’t — and won’t — do is hand you a verdict on someone else’s heart, or encourage you to diminish your own power and awareness of how your choices impact how things unfold.
A Quick Recap
When you are considering a reading, here is the short version on questions:
- Bring a starting point, even a loose one — it will offer stronger lift than an open “tell me what you see”
- Keep the focus on you, not on someone else’s feelings or decisions; it gives you back your power
- Understand that yes/no is rarely simple and leaves you out — ask about the landscape and your options instead
- Remember that you are a participant in how things unfold, not just a bystander waiting for news
Curious How a Reading Looks?
If you’re wondering what a session with me looks and feels like — how it is structured, what you can expect to walk away with, and how I work through these kinds of questions in real time — head over to my Services page for a closer look at the process and what it can offer you.
