I’m often amazed and slightly dismayed at how often I repeat the same mistake. While I acknowledge being stubborn, I don’t believe I’m foolish (most of the time). However, it seems stubborn will often win out over common sense.
To be fair though, not all my repeated mistakes come from being stubborn. As I have discussed before, we are all firmly built by habits – including some we aren’t always consciously aware of.
Moth Syndrome
Like the moth, who will infamously fly into a flame, we will repeat our unconscious habits, showing up often as patterns or behaviors, because at one point these may have made sense, worked, and helped to protect us, or flow from instilled beliefs (e.g. being clumsy, being too ‘something’, etc). However, as our environment, our relationships, and our awareness changes, the moth syndrome will often lead to a similar fate – getting burned and experiencing a level of frustration – or even mild destruction.
Calling out habits, and the moth syndrome, isn’t about blame or shame. To the contrary, you can congratulate yourself. You adapted, and then thoroughly learned a key protective behavior or followed through on a firm belief. That is no small feat. Sadly, releasing or changing that now is not so easy.
Phoenix Behavior
In contrast to the moth, who ultimately suffers a dim fate in the flames, the phoenix uses the same fire to renew, rebirth, and start a different path.
The mythology of the phoenix is that it will, when it reaches an endpoint, burst into flames and end up a pile of ashes (who can’t relate here to this part, at least? I know I can.) However, from the ashes, a renewed phoenix comes out, to begin a new life and potentially, a new path of life.
From Moth to Phoenix
How do we transform from being a moth to a phoenix? When we repeat our behaviors/mistakes, when we find ourselves being stuck because we are circling the flame, rather than adapting or doing differently, we can start to realize we have a habit or a belief that no longer serving us and is not even true anymore.
Some of these habits can be deeply rooted – and others, we may simply be too oblivious, or stubborn, to see them or let them go.
Of course, trying something different is uncomfortable, even scary, and so we will remain stuck. But here’s the thing – with awareness, we can now see the likely outcome if we stick with our habit (moth, meet flame).
The mythology of the phoenix is rooted in the idea that burning away the old can give us a way to start new. However, it also points to the idea that renewal, change, and coming out of a tough situation whole is possible.
Looking at your habits, your repeating uncomfortable situations, can release you to rise, like the phoenix, to a new life, a new path. It is scary, as the new way is unknown and untried, but it is the way through the flames; so allow yourself to release and come out whole and new.
Love, and until next time.
