We can be hardest on ourselves.
We all want to do well, and find love and acceptance. That is human nature, and it’s also an expression of shared lives; of our soul, made of love and light. But in seeking acceptance, and love, we sometimes build a list of ‘I should’ items, that haunt us and weigh on us.
Society and You
We all do live in society, and as such, we have shared agreements (in my sociology class, these were called ‘societal mores’) that enable us to function as a group; understanding how we interact, what is workable for many/all, and what is harmful to the group.
However, the list of shoulds I’m speaking of are not about what is needed to successfully live in society; rather, it is about our own judgements of who we are, what we have done, and what we think we should do to be better.
What We Are
We are all beautiful souls of love. But in this world, it can be easy to forget that. We lose sight of what we are, and instead value ourselves by a list of things we see, against a measure of perfection, or a desire to find love, or to find a way to love ourselves.
Why does this even matter – aren’t we working to improve ourselves, to do more of what we are here for?
We judge ourselves by our thoughts. Any should we have is a self-imposed challenge to who we are now. It can show us a gap between where we are, and where we want to be; but it can also be an ideal or a rule that we have accepted without examining, without thinking, that simply pushes us down and makes us feel less that we really are.
The Danger of Should
A should says ‘you aren’t enough’. In that way, it chips away at who we are; it chips away at our ability to be kind to ourselves; it chips away at our love for ourselves. For many of us, sadly, it can feel selfish to ‘love’ ourselves – I mean to be REALLY loving, and kind, to who we are. Because we have a list of should items that can say ‘you need to do more; you aren’t enough yet to have all that love’.
Today, take a moment to listen. Hear that ‘should’, and look at it – is it something you want to do, that you agree is important, or helpful? Or is it a shadow that says ‘you aren’t doing enough; you aren’t good enough yet’? And now, KNOW you are good, you are amazing, right now, exactly as you are; and that growth and learning are simply expansions of the you now, rather than things you must do to make yourself enough to be amazing.
