I like untangling knots. But, sometimes life gives us really tough ones.
Untangling Knots
I do enjoy dealing with knots (necklaces, clothing ties, and the like). They are puzzling, and it takes patience and concentration to find where to pull to start loosening, especially at the start. But there is satisfaction in seeing things move and finding the loops that you have to push through to get it to unwind more, and then finally, seeing a clear way again.
If only the knots we sometimes have in our lives were so easy!
Emotional Knots
Like physical knots, our thoughts and emotions can also get tangled; some are simple and easily undone, some can be very complex. We find we can’t see the way to move things, and if we simply tug, it only makes it worse. It can happen when we try too many things at once, we try to be more things to more people than is healthy, we don’t take time to allow things to unwind (literally and figuratively), or we put things away in that drawer, and somehow the gremlins get to it and when we look at it again, there is a nasty knot there we didn’t see before.
When confronted with a knot, what do you do? Some options are simply ignoring it, throwing it away, or breaking it. With regular knots, that can work. With the knots inside us, those options are less likely to help in the long run.
Starting
The difficulty is knowing where to begin, and how to find the way. With a physical knot, there is rarely a clear start; you simply start poking a bit and see what happens. This can seem random, but it does give feedback, which then allows more actions.
The biggest challenge with knots, especially the complex ones, is that it is never ‘pull here and it unwinds’. You must find where there is room, but then under the space you created, there are additional smaller knots, or you may need to pull back on what you’ve opened and change tactics. It’s peeling back the layers, and finding the places that you can move, and then it opens other places you could not get to before.
Finishing
Patience, concentration, and time are needed. Allowing yourself to take breaks, set it aside, and come back to it (unless, like me, you really enjoy them) can be helpful as well.
Consider reaching out to someone who can help with feedback or hold open the spaces you’ve loosened as you dig deeper. It isn’t always easy (some knots are buried, tough, and embarrassing), but help is an option.
If you are sorely tempted to ignore or break the knot, remember that the knot is part of who you are. It may not be easy to untangle, but it will be rewarding, and it will allow more flow and ease.
