It’s very easy to compare, but what do we find when we do?
Comparing
We all do it. It’s nearly an unstoppable habit – we compare ourselves, our situations, our experiences to someone else. It can be a stranger; it can be someone close to us.
I grew up with the phrase ‘keeping up with the Joneses”; but unlike shows today that tell us about the lives of famous people, it literally was about matching the mythical Jones family, or somehow you were falling behind.
And that is the rub. Rarely is this type of comparison a positive – instead, it’s very much a look at where we are lacking, where we should be having more fun, money, beauty, success, or just being more.
Changing the Focus
I’ve written before about habits (One Percent Future) and how to change them. Today, I want to talk about changing the way you think about this habit.
We will, by habit, measure ourselves against where we want to be. Our culture is literally built on the idea of goals and achieving them and measuring how close we are to them. It’s an amazing thing – and a valuable way to motivate yourself for changes. However, while striving for a goal is a way to grow, comparing yourself to the goal is not. It’s demoralizing. If you aren’t comparing yourself to others, you end up comparing yourself to an idea.
Your Past and Your Future
If you are going to compare – compare yourself to your own past, not your future; not other people. Look at how far you have come. Look at what you have already overcome, managed, or defeated to be standing up today, this very moment. Do not ever minimize what you have done.
Even if what you did today was simply getting up in the morning and dealing with another day, it is a success, because it’s progress. This progress might be small, but it’s still something. Other days, you can and you will do more. And then you can celebrate those days as well.
Always celebrate, not denigrate.
